finally got the hang of this blogging thing and now i wanna see how long this will actually last. before my discipline runs out. before i find something else to do with my time in the middle of the night…or before i got too lazy to finish writing my thoughts. usually the desire to update myself and follow the trends of the world is quite easy to dismiss and say ” i dont mind not being part of that”… but i came across smth that was written years ago by a friend in her blog. it made me feel sick. actually, imagine if you had your heart mangled after it was ripped through your chest, then thrown into a spinning blender. THAT. that’s how i felt. it drove me to get a plane on which i can have MY say, MY thoughts, shout out MY feelings. or just bitch when i feel like it.. i dont know if it was simply anger or just the sick need to retort, play defense and assure myself im right, she’s wrong, …or if it actually was a sadistic yearning to find another reason to hate myself further. at that very moment upon reading her past entry, i had that strong urge to respond. to read what i will write, what i feel, what i will confess, cos sometimes i dont really know if i didnt lay it out apparently.i guess, this blog was birthed not out of something positive, but i hope it will end that way.[confessed, but not reformed]
"have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone,
your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you are not alone,
have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry,
were you ever forced to bid your friend goodbye?"
"its only half past the point of no return,
the tip of the iceberg, the sun before the burn,
the thunder before the lightning,
the breath before the phrase,
have you ever felt this way?"
"so hold this feeling like a newborn,
of freedom surging through your viens,
you should open up a new door,
so bring on the Wind, the Fire and the Rain."
